Les Misérables - I cannot contain my excitement any longer....

15 on the 15th

Sydney, my oldest daughter, turned 15 on September 15th at 4:11 p.m. to be exact.  This beautiful, smart, amazingly talented little girl is turning into an awesome, fun-loving young lady.  What joy, heartache, laughter, tears, smiles and fun you have brought into our lives.  Everyone says that you are the spitting image of me; I am still debating if this is good or bad!  :)

I cannot wait to see what life has in store for you in the future years.  God has big plans for you and I hope you accept every challenge with all the heart and soul of the true inspiration that you are.  Do not change who you are.

 Be yourself.  People will either love you or hate you.  That fact you cannot control.        

 Give of yourself and help those who need it.

 Be kind.

 Be understanding.

 Love with your whole heart.

And never forget, no matter what, I am proud of you and will always be here.  

Happy 15th Shoog!

Labor Day Fun in the Sun

As a kid, my favorite times with family were spent at our cabin outside of Galmey at Pomme de Terre.  So many memories and fun times were had by not only my own family, but with cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents alike.  I cherish these times and want my own children to be able to do the same.  Our annual Fall Clean Up is another time where we can enjoy each other, fellowship with wonderful food, and make more memories.

This Labor Day weekend, Rod and I took the kids to the cabin for a much needed getaway.  Despite the weather, yes it rained all day on Saturday, we had a wonderful time.  So many of these times were spent on the porch swing, singing along to our favorite tune, or watching the squirrels jump from tree to tree.

We met up with some friends on Saturday night for a cookout; they were staying at the Pittsburg State Park campground.  Ribs, loin, potato salad, mac and cheese, pasta salad.  What a feast it was!  Because of the busy water on Sunday, we elected to hold off on the tubing and knee board until Monday.  We found a couple of coves to swim in for the little ones and enjoyed the sunshine.

These times we have together are a gift and I cherish every one of them.  I want them to remember and have the same wonderful experiences that I had growing up all those years ago.  I thank my aunts for keeping the cabin up and running for the future generations to enjoy.  

Belated 16th birthday

Somewhere in all this chaos of my life, I neglected to celebrate with everyone my oldest son's 16th birthday. I can hardly believe it myself, but he was 16 on May 12.  It was a Mother's Day Sunday when he helped us start our family. He is growing into a young man that will someday make his mark in this world.  We love you Tire!

This is so awesome!  If only my husband shared my same enthusiasm for this musical.

Belated Birthday and Then Some

Saturday August 4th marked my youngest son's 7th birthday.  Fuzzmeister C!  How big you have gotten. You amaze me everyday with your thoughtfulness, charity, loving spirit and energy you bring into my life and the lives of everyone you meet.  He loves watching Gator Boys with his dad, so he got his own gator gear.  

With the heat of this summer, most of our days have been spent in the backyard playing in the water.  With all the yelling and screaming going on, the poor neighbors must think we have a party every day.

We took the kids fishing several times over the summer and they all three enjoyed a season of t-ball.  Sometimes Na forgot she was suppose to be doing something and you might catch her in the dirt!  Jo would be talking with the coach rather than watching where the ball was.  Fuzz was all over the field and served as the clean up hitter or last batter.  They always bat 10 players no matter what and he was loving the fact that most times, he hit everyone in.  He's gonna make for an awesome little ball player.  

Fishing with Dad

Playing in the corn

Best friends

Take Two

So today marks the restart of my college education.  I begin classes again, just in a different direction.  Teaching is out; Psych is in!  I've always been interested in Psychology ever since Simmons gave the class my senior year of high school.  I have no idea where it will take me, but I'm willing to give it a shot.  What have I got to lose?  


T-ball is almost over with one game remaining.  These three are so much fun, yet so exhausting at the same time.  I thought they would help me stay young, but I'm beginning to doubt that.

Besides that, with a teenage driver and job holder, I can't seem to keep up with who is doing what. Shoog, as her dad affectionately calls her, turns 15 in September, which in turn means I will also have a permit driver, as long as she passes, to contend with. I'm wore out just writing about it.  


I recently learned that my favorite musical of all time, Les Misérables, comes to the big screen this December.  I have seen it live twice, plus own a VHS copy.  The small things in life bring me such joy, can you tell?  :)

I hope this finds you in good spirits, healthy and happy.  Take care of yourself and your loved ones.  That is all...

 

And the wait continues...

On January 4, 2012 I was granted a hearing pertaining to my fingerprint clearance.  I have been checking online daily for results to no avail. Today the doorbell rings. The doorbell never rings.  The mailman was outside with a certified letter for me to sign.  The results from the Board were there.  I have tried to remain positive that the Board would understand my situation and allow me to continue with my education and fulfill my requirements to become a teacher.  Within 10 seconds of opening it, my heart dropped.  While the presiding judge denied my hearing, the Board has the authority to either accept, reject or amend his decision.  I will have another hearing on April 13th, which will be the final step in my appeal process.  As I read through the judges comments, I was struck with the phrase "the Applicant has not been rehabilitated."  No.  I am not rehabilitated.  How could I be?

To many of you out there, I am guilty; plain and simple.  To you I say, you are probably not my friend and really don't know me.  Some of you have even voiced your opinion, although not welcome, on my Facebook page (you have since been blocked, since you weren't on my friends list anyway).  The system failed me. There comes a time when the fight you are fighting is sucking the life out of you, your family and everything you've worked hard for. My family and I made a choice.  The only choice that was acceptable and that would almost guarantee I would remain free (for the most part) and at home with my children.  The resources they had versus those of my own do not even compare.  I did what I had to do.  That does not make me guilty.

To say I am rehabilitated is to say I have something to be in recovery for.  Sure, I could have easily said what they wanted to hear in order to get what I ultimately wanted: clearance to teach.  I will not.  I will go on without teaching and do something different.  I will choose plan B.  I haven't yet decided what Plan B is, but Plan B it appears has taken over.  I know I still have another hearing and will do everything within my power to make them understand my logic.  Unless you have been where I am and continue to be on a daily basis, you cannot judge me.  You may think what you want. I cannot control that.  Say what you want.  I have broad shoulders.  I will smile. I will make nice.  I will even pray for you.  I will pray that you never have to go through what I have been through, continue to go through, and will take with me wherever I go.

I pray for the health of my children, their lives and their futures.  That is what I worry about now.  I am here for them and that is what counts.  I thank God everyday that He made it this way.  Only and only because of Him am I here right now. Those two guardian angels didn't hurt either.

I am just over 3 1/2 months into the 6 month portion of my sentencing.  With a total of 5 years probation, my life won't be completely normal until that is over.  While the 6 months house arrest hasn't been a picnic, it could have been a lot worse.  I could have not been here at all right now.  I thank God that He has allowed me to continue to be with my family, even with a few restrictions that can sometimes be very unhandy.
 
Parts of my life have been  put on hold.  I have been awaiting Fingerprint Clearance which determines whether or not I can continue with my education and eventually teach.  Without this clearance, I have to go with Plan B.  Plan B hasn't been determined yet, but I have begun to accept the fact that Plan A isn't looking too good right now.  I will be okay with Plan B.  I have been to hell and back. I will survive this too.

With everything that has happened, I hope that if nothing else, my older children get from this experience that NOTHING is guaranteed.  Even bad, horrible, indescribable things happen to good, decent, hard-working people. What you do in the face of adversity is up to you.  You can become bitter, hateful and distant or you can choose to become a better person for it.  I have chosen to take the high road.  I may never understand why this happened to me and many times have wondered what I could have done to deserve this.  Truth is, I will never understand.  There is evil in this world and I have to remain true to myself, my husband, children and family or the evil wins.

I am blessed to have a family, all of them, for loving me, believing in me and supporting me, however and whenever I've needed them.  Thank you for that.  Without this support, I may never have made it this far.  I love you all.